Are You Making Pies for Everyone You Know?

As the son of divorced parents, there are many ways I could go. I went with the ‘let’s see if I can try and make everyone happy’ path. Why ruffle feathers? Everyone else’s stress feels far more toxic than my own. I would be happy if everyone felt good.  

That path is like catered food. During the tasting, it seems like it’s going to be great. However, after being reheated in a chafing dish and sitting out for an unknown amount of time, the initial feelings and experiences differ from the execution and memory.  

In the process of trying to consistently cater to everyone, people rarely feel great, ideally good, usually okay, and too often, bad. In my experience, the person who typically felt the worst was me.    

It is only in recent years that I’ve tried (it’s a work in progress) to temper my classic delusion of not ruffling any feathers. In the end, this was typically a combustible recipe. We try to “emotionally” make a delicious pie for everyone. Except, in doing so we lose focus. We don’t control everything, especially other people.  

Despite our best intentions, the execution versus intent is poor. We serve less-than-our-best “emotional pies.” There is overlap in experience, but every person has slightly different needs and requires different ingredients.  

But what if you could make things better for yourself? What if you take the time to work on one amazing pie that continuously evolves?  

By focusing on yourself you can greatly impact the one thing you can control, and have more positive outcomes with those around you. You have the ingredients to be more compassionate, vulnerable, patient, and authentic.

If you know hundreds if not more than 1,000 people by name, and cross-reference them with personalities and circumstances, you have an infinite (or a number higher than I can count) amount of perceived situations and emotions you’re trying to cater to.

That’s a lot of pies.  

So give yourself grace. You don’t need to try to be everything to everyone. Instead of getting into everyone’s kitchen, spend more time working on yours.

Cheers and peace be the journey.
Pete Dopkin