Tears No Fears, Finding Happiness and Kindness

Turns out I’m an emotional crier. It began as a teen in the late 80s while watching the end of Scrooged. Yes, with Bill Murray. It should have been a sign.  As I’ve become more intune, the floodgates have only opened up further.  

Last week Brooks Robinson died. Who? He was the Hall Of Fame 3rd baseman for the Baltimore Orioles in the 50-70s. I was reading an article on Robinson by Tim Kurkjian, a Hall Of Fame writer.

(Don’t worry, this newsletter is not about sports or baseball… you can keep reading.)

Kurkjian writes, “Robinson isn't just the greatest defensive third baseman in baseball history -- he is also the single kindest person I've ever met in 45 years of covering baseball.”

I burst into tears. Why? That is a fair question.

I was overwhelmed at the sentiment that he was the kindest person. It struck such a chord, and I could viscerally feel what Kurkjian felt. I was envious of Brooks that he could have that level of positive impact on someone who has met thousands of people over 4 1/2 decades.  

It got me thinking…

I muscle tested myself, “Am I kind?” No. I tried again. No.
I muscle tested myself, “Am I happy? No.
WTF, I generally feel I’m kind and happy.  

Concurrently, I was listening to an old Rich Roll podcast, with punk rocker turned monk, Raghunath Cappo. Raghunath was, in his words, explaining 6 Principles that were established by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, a 1400's Indian saint.

Principles
1. Stop criticizing other people.  
2. Be tolerant.
3. I take no offense.
4. We see the good in others and we let them know it.
5. Be quick to apologize.
6. Keep a list of how we are blessed.

Other than apologizing, which was typically out of self-doubt and guilt, for one reason or another, I have struggled with all of these. Criticizing and tolerance are very different yet often become a two-headed monster. I like to think I don’t, but I take offense way too much. I could go on…

All of these building blocks were taking away, bit by bit, from my ability to be truly happy and kind. I was being unnecessarily negative on myself and others, while conversely not being those things.  

Immediately, I installed new goals against these principles.

I identified and alleviated.

I gave myself the ability to learn and grow.

I am more balanced.

I’m not taken from center so easily, and if I am, it is not as far and it’s easier to get back.

Am I happy and kind now? You bet, and I even muscle tested and then cried to make sure.  

Cheers and peace be the journey.
Pete Dopkin