The Boy in the Raft

Once upon a time, I was a little boy and all was right in the world. I ran around, went to the beach on family vacations, and did stuff.

What stuff? Innocent, childlike, fun stuff.  I played in the ocean, soaked up boardwalk games and rides, and chowed sweets.    

In those late 70’s and early 80’s summers, we got to eat sugar cereal at the beach. Those decadent little boxes of Sugar Smacks and Count Chocula... Thankfully the rest of the year, I ate all those other non-sugar cereals. You know the ones we thought were healthy - turns out they weren’t.  

The Happy Meal hit the market providing parents with a cheap, easy, and maybe nutritious option, while giving small plastic toys to kids - win, win.

President Jimmy Carter addressed the nation in a televised speech discussing the "crisis of confidence in America today." It would later be known as his "national malaise" speech. I thought it was just fashion that came back in style.

None of it was on my radar.  I was blissfully ignorant of the world around me, and that joy was captured in a photo of me on a raft in the ocean. There was nothing before, and as far as I knew nothing after.

So what happened?

Time and time, and time and time again, we yearn to go back to those moments before decisions and actions changed us from a caterpillar and not into a butterfly, but into a vulture. Those impactful moments leave us picking away at our soul like a carcass on the Serengeti.

I was living the caterpillar-to-butterfly life until that fateful night when my mom told me she and my father were getting divorced. By the age of seven, if it wasn’t my parents, something else would have come up. As we get older we are more aware. There is before that night, and then there is everything after. Was it the worst thing in the world? No. There are thousands of more impactful things that happen to people daily.

But for me, at that time, it was a thing. We all have our things. The ignorant kid in the raft was gone.

The challenge is that you don’t know how events or decisions will impact you over time.  It is daunting to revisit your past from different angles. But believing these events don’t impact you daily is like pretending that the cereal Life is healthy for you because Mikey likes it. It is not healthy to stuff your emotions or your face.  

I was like many of us. I didn’t want to have to read the food labels. I wanted to be ignorant.  

But, what are your labels telling you?  

For me, it was mud season in the Rockies, Alisha was recovering from knee surgery, and I was preparing (more emotionally) to go on vacation with 10 family members in June. That was part of my first-world struggles, but it was something deeper. It felt more ingrained.  My labels told me I had to look at the divorce from yet another angle.

Was I happy about it? No, I’m, sick of talking and thinking about it.  But stuffing it and pretending will only make me ill. You never know when your past will be recurring themes that impact you in new ways in the present. I was fortunate to make this association because clearing the traumas has softened the blow from the divorce and has helped lift this ‘personal malaise.’

Despite the events that eat at your mind and body, you can turn your emotional vultures into butterflies.

You can rewrite and clear your traumas and patterns.  

You can enjoy your present and future.

You can live without the burden of events of your past.

You are not always responsible for what has molded who you are. You are, however, responsible for doing something about it. Trust me, waiting and pretending everything is alright will not release the vulture inside you.    

Cheers and peace be the journey.
Pete Dopkin